KNOW YOUR VALUE
Don’t sell yourself short.
-Robert Fulgham
Always bet on yourself.
The best bet you can take in life is yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? Betting on yourself is self-confidence. Over time, your confidence will develop as you continue to learn new skills and wisdom, but constantly tell yourself you believe in what you can offer the world, for starters.
When you start building up enough belief in yourself, begin the process of having the courage to say no. Say no to people, things, favors, etc. Once you have the self-confidence to say no, you open up a whole new world.
The Power of Not Caring
When you know your value and have confidence in your ability, then you have a superpower. You stop giving fudge brownies during interviews, you quit jobs that cause a stoppage of growth, and you create the ease of saying no to people and requests without having second thoughts.
For example, during the 2020 pandemic, I was furloughed for a couple of months. The time off allowed me to reflect on the path I was going down, and I didn’t like where it was headed. I was miserable going into work and miserable after work. I had no energy, no joy, no passion. My life was on a rinse and repeat cycle, with each day almost being identical. I took accountability for it and decided it was time for a change. I started traveling, hanging out with my parents more, and doing activities that I enjoyed.
Work called me one day and said they were ready to bring me back full-time. They were trying to change my original schedule, so I declined and told them that I only wanted to return as a per diem technologist. At the time, this company never hired a per diem technologist and probably wasn’t planning on it.
My boss was baffled by my decision but said he would run it past HR. A little while later, he called and said that it would work. I tried to negotiate a new salary since I wasn’t going to have any benefits and per diem technologists make more hourly to compensate for not having benefits. The company said they wouldn’t negotiate salary, and I was to stay at my normal hourly rate. I accepted the offer and worked when I wanted to.
One year later, I still cover shifts for them and got the yearly bonus raise of 1 dollar. I decided that my time was worth more than what I was getting paid. I needed some lodging when I came back to work because I wasn’t living in the city anymore. My boss asks me to cover some more dates, so I tell him that I want at least 100 dollars per shift for housing before working any more shifts. He calls me back and says that HR didn’t go for the 100 dollars per shift, but they did agree to give me a 21% raise.
Now, I’m making what a real per diem technologist in a big city makes for a company that never hires per diem technologists and doesn’t pay a per diem salary. By not caring about the outcome, you have so much more power. Get yourself to a situation where you don’t give any fudge brownies, and you will level up. Make yourself indispensable.
Bonus: This is how I approach all my interviews. I go into them knowing that 1.) I’m an excellent employee, and my social intelligence skills are unmatched 2.) Because of my skills, I like to think I can get hired anywhere I want to, and in doing so, I don’t care if I get hired or not. Not to say that I’m lazy, I do a lot of research on the company I’m being interviewed by beforehand. I always find a way to lighten the mood of the interview by getting them to laugh. Once I establish the laugh, everyone is relaxed, and the interview takes place in a much better environment.
Value Translated Into Relationships
It’s imperative to know what you bring to the table, relationship-wise as well. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to settle for something less than what you deserve, all because of the stereotypes society has planted on your shoulders. Once you find self-awareness, you will stop feeling that pressure and start feeling the rhythm of life.
This is what I’m looking for in relationships. This point of view stemmed from reading Awareness. I imagine relationships as a sheet of music. I have an awesome beat by myself. I love my beat. It is the dopest beat around. I know I have found a person worth the time and effort when their beat adds something even better to my sheet of music to create a magical song.
Maybe it’s a one-hit-wonder, or maybe there will be an album made, and possibly even a tour, but if that artist decides to continue on their solo career, that doesn’t affect my beat at all. I still have a dope beat and am incredibly grateful for the music the other artist and I created.
THE SHORT GUIDE TO 30