S E V E N

MAKING FRIENDS

After moving to numerous cities, most of the friends I would make were through work. It worked out fine, except that I dislike my current field that I am working in, and I noticed that the conversations would often involve work, so I started looking for different friend groups. I found the quickest method to this was to sign up for as many activities as possible. 

These should be activities that you enjoy and are a little out of your common interests to help expand your friend group and become more interesting. Bonus: being interesting is an attractive quality! When I lived in Boston, I joined a kickball league, soccer league, improvisation class, and went to a salsa dancing class almost every weekend. 

Thanks to the internet, making friends is easier than ever. You can even join Facebook groups, Discord groups and find friends that way. In smaller cities, look on the city’s website for sports leagues and other activities that they put on. I would also highly suggest signing up for classes like cooking, yoga, outdoor survival, etc. Some good resources to look for activities are on Facebook and Meetup.

I usually find most of my activities just by using Google. If there aren’t any activities that pop up on the internet, instead, look for clubs or organizations that interest you and volunteer. If, for instance, you enjoy acting, but don’t know where to start, volunteer to help with lighting, stage props, or ushering at the local theatre. Volunteering is a great way to meet people, and it’s free! Be a joiner; join anything and everything that creates enthusiasm.

Now that you know where to make friends, the next step is to get everyone to like you. Simple answer, self-awareness. Once you are comfortable with who you are, people notice that right from the beginning and want to be around you because you are a breath of fresh air. Everyone is trying to be something they aren’t, and it has created a lot of fake people, so when you are genuine and authentic, you are in the driver’s seat for making friends and networking.

An excellent book to read on this topic is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This book is a classic that has stood the test of time, and everything in the book is still relatable today. Mr. Carnegie lays some of the basic foundations needed to become the most charismatic and liked person in the room.

For starters, upon first meeting, someone, get their name and don’t forget it! There is something very charming about someone remembering a name, so take time to memorize their name when you first meet someone and when you say goodbye. It’s a strong flex that you are a charismatic king/queen. 

Another skill that seems simple, but takes time to develop, is active listening. People love to talk about themselves; finding a topic that excites them and asking questions about the subject is the first step. Ensure the other person is aware that you are actively engaged in the conversation by body language (head nods) and occasionally giving input on the topic discussed. 

I have been reading Impro, which I have mentioned already, and I came across something fascinating regarding being able to relate to other people, and I realized this was one of my strong skills. Being able to relate to people from all walks of life creates friendships with the most unlikely people and creates a worldwide network system. Now, this requires having an open mind, which is also necessary to dominate the social world, and life. 

With that, I want to talk about status. I talked about this earlier in the body confidence section in the example between the two siblings. Status plays an essential part in society. If you were to be a king or queen, then you would have a very high status. If you were a homeless person, then your status would be very low. People tend to miss their opportunity to be liked by everyone because they stay in the status that they have created for themselves. 

Take the king, for example; if he were to come in contact with a homeless person, he would likely obtain his high status and look down upon the homeless person. The same with the homeless person; they would stay in their low-status persona and think that the king was a total prick with all his money. In Impro, Mr. Johnstone pointed out that to create a scene that would engage the audience; an actor must always meet the other character’s status and either stay slightly above or slightly below. 

Staying always slightly above or below is the golden area in which you always want to interact with other people. You should surround yourself with people with a higher status than yourself because if you are reading this, you are constantly striving to grow, so try and challenge yourself to have your status be slightly above your cohorts.

Read:

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

E I G H T

THE SHORT GUIDE TO 30